copyright 2013 by Jane Reinheimer

HOME
SPIRITUAL LIFE
INSPIRATION
RECIPES
FAVORITE MUSICAL INTERLUDES
COUNSELING
BIBLE STUDY
QUOTATIONS
PRAYER PAGE
CIVICS/PATRIOTISM/POLITICS
LINKS
HUMOR, JOKES AND STUFF
CONTACT INFORMATION
VIDEO LINKS AND FUNNIES
GLOSSARY/JANISMS
HALTOM GENEALOGY

Please include this in your morning prayers: Hi Lord, It's me. 
We are getting older and things are getting bad here. Gas prices are
too high, no jobs, food and heating costs too high. I know some have taken
you out of our schools, government and even Christmas, but Lord I'm asking
you to come back and re-bless America . We really need you! There are
more of us who want you than those who don't! Thank You Lord, I Love you. 

What if you woke up tomorrow morning and the only thing you had in your life was what you thanked Him for yesterday?

Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell the storm how big your God is: watch this wonderful story -- http://www.passionup.com/mp/blank/blank100.htm?e=imkld%40yahoo.com&f=imkld%40yahoo.com&cfp=1&h=7a49f7e8064d5e26&mp=1

From my dear friend Shirley who's in Arizona with a flock of other snowbirds:

Subject: Protestant humor

Ole is the pastor of the local Norwegian Lutheran Church and Pastor Sven is the minister of the Swedish
>
>Covenant Church across the road.  One day they are seen pounding a sign into the ground, which said:  
>  
>DA END ISS NEAR!  TURN YERSELF AROUNT NOW  BAFOR IT ISS TOO LATE! 
>   
As a car speeds past them, the driver leans out his window and yells, "Leave people alone, you Skandihoovian religious nuts!"  
>   
From the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash.  
>   
Shakin' his head, Rev. Ole says, "Dat's da terd one dis mornin'." 
>   
"Yaa," Pastor Sven agrees, then asks, "Do ya tink maybe da sign should yust say,  'Bridge Out?'" 

This is one of the best versions of an interactive Lord's Prayer that I've ever read. It's sent to us from my dear friend Cody in Warrensburg, MO. I do pray that it will enrich your life today and that you will think about this when you pray the Lord's Prayer:

THE LORD'S PRAYER- Rather cleverly done. This is in two parts,
The prayer(in blue type) and GOD(in red type)-in response.
It is very, very good.
*********
"Our Father Who Art In Heaven.
Yes?
Don't interrupt me. I'm praying.
But -- you called ME!
Called you?
No, I didn't call you..
I'm praying.
Our Father who art in Heaven.

There -- you did it again!
Did what?
Called ME.
You said,
"Our Father who art in Heaven"
Well, here I am..
What's on your mind?
But I didn't mean anything by it.
I was, you know, just saying my prayers for the day.
I always say the Lord's Prayer.
It makes me feel good,
Kind of like fulfilling a duty.
Well, all right.
Go on.
Okay, Hallowed be thy name .
Hold it right there.
What do you mean by that?
By what?
By "Hallowed be thy name"?
It means, it means .. . Good grief,
I don't know what it means.
How in the world should I know?
It's just a part of the prayer.
By the way, what does it mean?
It means honored, holy, wonderful.
Hey, that makes sense..
I never thought about what 'hallowed' meant before.
Thanks.
Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in Heaven.
Do you really mean that?
Sure, why not?
What are you doing about it?
Doing? Why, nothing, I guess.
I just think it would be kind of neat if you got
Control, of everything down here like you have up
There. We're kinda in a mess down here you know.
Yes, I know;
But, have I got control of you?
Well, I go to church..
That isn't what I asked you.
What about your bad temper?
You've really got a problem there, you know.
And then there's the way you spend
Your money -- all on yourself.
And what about the kind of books you read ?
Now hold on just a minute!
Stop picking on me!
I'm just as good as some of the rest
Of those People at church!
Excuse ME..
I thought you were praying
For my will to be done..
If that is to happen,
It will have to start with the ones
Who are praying for it.
Like you -- for example ....
Oh, all right. I guess I do have some hang-ups.
Now that you mention it,
I could probably name some others.
So could I.
I haven't thought about it very much until now,
But I really would like to cut out some of those things.
I would like to, you know, be really free.
Good.
Now we're getting somewhere.
We'll work together -- You and ME.
I'm proud of You.
Look, Lord, if you don't mind,
I need to finish up here.
This is taking a lot longer than it usually does.
Give us this day, our daily bread.
You need to cut out the bread..
You're overweight as it is.
Hey, wait a minute! What is this?
Here I was doing my religious duty,
And all of a sudden you break in
And remind me of all my hang-ups.
Praying is a dangerous thing.
You just might get what you ask for.
Remember, you called ME -- and here I am.
It's too late to stop now.
Keep praying. ( pause .. . )
Well, go on.
I'm scared to.
Scared? Of what?
I know what you'll say.
Try ME.
Forgive us our sins,
As we forgive those who sin against us.
What about Ann?
See? I knew it!
I knew you would bring her up!
Why, Lord, she's told lies about me, spread stories.
She never paid back the money she owes me..
I've sworn to get even with her!
But -- your prayer --
What about your prayer?
I didn't -- mean it..
Well, at least you're honest.
But, it's quite a load carrying around all that
bitterness and resentment isn't it?
Yes, but I'll feel better as soon as I get even with her.
Boy, have I got some plans for her.
She'll wish she had never been born.
No, you won't feel any better.
You'll feel worse.
Revenge isn't sweet.
You know how unhappy you are --
Well, I can change that.
You can? How?
Forgive Ann.
Then, I'll forgive you;
And the hate and the sin,
will be Ann's problem -- not yours.
You will have settled the problem
as far as you are concerned.
Oh, you know, you're right.
You always are.
And more than I want revenge,
I want to be right with You . . (sigh).
All right, all right . .
I forgive her.
There now!
Wonderful!
How do you feel?
Hmmmm. Well, not bad.
Not bad at all!
In fact, I feel pretty great!
You know, I don't think I'll go to bed uptight tonight.
I haven't been getting much rest, you know.
Yeah, I know.
But, you're not through with your prayer, are you?
Go on.
Oh, all right.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Good! Good! I'll do that.
Just don't put yourself in a place
where you can be tempted.
What do you mean by that?
You know what I mean.
Yeah. I know..
Okay.
Go ahead. Finish your prayer.
For Thine is the kingdom,
and the power,
and the glory forever.
Amen.
Do you know what would bring me glory?
What would really make me happy?
No, but I'd like to know.
I want to please you now...
I've really made a mess of things.
I want to truly behave like Christ
I can see now how great that would be.
So, tell me .. . .
How do I make you happy?
YOU just did".


Got this prayer from my friend Cody in Warrensburg, MO:

Heavenly Father; I come to you as humble as I know how.

I confess my sins, those known & unknown.
Lord, you know that I am not perfect and I fall short
every day of my life.

I just want to take time out to say Thank You.

Thank You for your Mercy.
I have more bills
than money but thank you for my home, car, food,
life and everything I do have.

I realize that life is full of trials and
tribulations but thank you for not putting more
on me than I can bear. Please send This Prayer to everyone you know and the
next time you get ready to complain tell the
devil that you are a blessed child of God
By doing this you will have
more to be thankful for than to worry about.

We must go through the storm to appreciate
the sunshine.




This comes from a wonderful friend, Linda:

Hi Lord, it's me. We are getting older and things are getting bad here.
> Gas prices are too high, no jobs, food and heating costs too high. I know
> some have taken you out of our schools, government and even Christmas but
> Lord I'm asking you to come back and re-bless America. We really need you!
> > There are more of us who want you than those who don't! Thank You Lord,
> > I
> Love you.
> >
Thank you, Linda.




Serving God in his worship fields
: Do you get tired and crabby because you think you're doing more than others in your church?

Fatigue is an interesting gauge of where your heart is. Oh, for sure, if you worked nonstop for a whole bunch of hours and didn't stop to rest, you'd be tired. But I can assure you that when your heart is in a generous, ungrumbling place, the Lord will give you energy and strength for whatever task He has put before you to do.

I share with you one of my favorite passages from Isaiah 40:2931 -- He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

I challenge you to keep this smile on the face of your heart and embrace each task that the Lord puts before you this day.

Above all, be ever mindful of our Lord's greatest sacrifice of his Son who died for our sins on the cross.

Walk wet in your baptismal faith1 and may it pour over in floods of new creativity and passion for all that you do.

1Rev. Stephen Gillet launched a wonderful sermon with this phrase at church last Sunday.

Only hope we find GOD again before it is too late ! !

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning
Commentary.

My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother
me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees,
Christmas trees... I don't feel threatened.. I don't feel discriminated against..
That's what they are, Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think
they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of
like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time
of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a
key intersection near my beach house in Malibu . If people want a crèche, it's just
as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians
like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God
are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the
concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in
the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should
worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I
guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are
wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little
different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get
you thinking.
In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc.. I think it
started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years
ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone
said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill;
thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave,
because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their
self-esteem ( Dr. Spock 's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know
what he's talking about.. And we said okay..

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know
right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their
classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think
it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going
to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible
says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire,
but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about
sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through
cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing yet?

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God
thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit.

If not, then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this
thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,

Ben Stein 

TABLE PRAYERS

We Thank You For This Food (tune: Amazing Grace)
Dear Lord we thank you for this food,
Your will to us make known;
Give us the strength to serve you now
And through the days ahead.
Amen.

To God Who Gives Us Daily Bread (tune: I Know That My Redeemer Lives)
To God who gives us daily bread,
A thankful song to Him we'll raise,
And pray that He who sends our food,
Will fill our hearts with love and praise.
Amen

FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY -- from Nola

In Florida, an atheist created a case against Easter and Passover Holy days.

He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and
Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair
that atheists had no such recognized days.

The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate
presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring,"Case
dismissed!"

The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor,
How can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas,
Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my
client and all other atheists have no such holidays.."

The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client,
counsel, is woefully ignorant."

The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or
holiday for atheists."

The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1
states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the
opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is
a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day.

Court is adjourned."  You gotta love a Judge that knows his scripture!