Please include this in your morning
prayers: Hi Lord, It's me.
are getting older and things are getting bad here. Gas prices are
too high, no jobs, food and heating costs too high.
I know some have taken
you out of our schools, government and even Christmas, but Lord I'm asking
you to come
back and re-bless America . We really need you! There are
more of us who want you than those who don't! Thank You
Lord, I Love you.
What if you woke up tomorrow morning and the
only thing you had in your life was what you thanked Him for yesterday?
Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell the storm
how big your God is: watch this wonderful story -- http://www.passionup.com/mp/blank/blank100.htm?e=imkld%40yahoo.com&f=imkld%40yahoo.com&cfp=1&h=7a49f7e8064d5e26&mp=1
From my dear friend Shirley who's in Arizona with a flock
of other snowbirds:
Subject: Protestant humor
Ole is the pastor of the local Norwegian Lutheran Church and Pastor Sven is the minister of the Swedish
>Covenant Church across the road. One day they are seen pounding a sign into the ground, which said:
>DA END ISS NEAR! TURN YERSELF
AROUNT NOW BAFOR IT ISS TOO LATE!
As a car speeds past them, the driver leans out his window and yells, "Leave people alone,
you Skandihoovian religious nuts!"
From the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash.
Shakin' his head, Rev. Ole says, "Dat's da terd one dis mornin'."
"Yaa," Pastor Sven agrees, then asks, "Do ya tink
maybe da sign should yust say, 'Bridge Out?'"
This is one of the best versions of an interactive
Lord's Prayer that I've ever read. It's sent to us from my dear friend Cody in Warrensburg, MO. I do pray that it
will enrich your life today and that you will think about this when you pray the Lord's Prayer:
LORD'S PRAYER- Rather cleverly done. This is in two parts,
The prayer(in blue type) and GOD(in red type)-in response.
It is very, very good.
"Our Father Who Art In Heaven.
Don't interrupt me. I'm praying.
-- you called ME!
No, I didn't call you..
Our Father who art in Heaven.
you did it again!
"Our Father who art in Heaven"
Well, here I am..
What's on your mind?
I didn't mean anything by it.
I was, you know, just saying my prayers for the day.
I always say the Lord's Prayer.
It makes me feel good,
Kind of like fulfilling a duty.
Well, all right.
Okay, Hallowed be thy name .
Hold it right there.
do you mean by that?
By "Hallowed be thy
It means, it means .. . Good grief,
I don't know what it means.
How in the world should I know?
It's just a part of the prayer.
By the way, what does it mean?
It means honored,
Hey, that makes sense..
I never thought about what 'hallowed' meant
Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in Heaven.
Do you really mean that?
What are you doing about it?
Doing? Why, nothing,
I just think it would be kind of neat if you got
Control, of everything
down here like you have up
There. We're kinda in a mess down here you know.
Yes, I know;
have I got control of you?
Well, I go to church..
isn't what I asked you.
What about your bad temper?
You've really got a problem there,
And then there's the way you spend
Your money -- all on yourself.
And what about the kind of books
you read ?
Now hold on just a minute!
Stop picking on me!
I'm just as good as
some of the rest
Of those People at church!
I thought you were praying
For my will to be done..
If that is to happen,
It will have to start with the ones
Who are praying for it.
Like you -- for example ....
Oh, all right. I guess I do have some hang-ups.
that you mention it,
I could probably name some others.
So could I.
I haven't thought about it very much until now,
But I really would like to cut out some of those things.
I would like to, you know, be really free.
Now we're getting somewhere.
We'll work together -- You and ME.
I'm proud of You.
Look, Lord, if you don't mind,
I need to finish up here.
This is taking a lot longer than it usually does.
Give us this day, our daily bread.
You need to cut out the bread..
You're overweight as it is.
wait a minute! What is this?
Here I was doing my religious duty,
And all of a sudden you break in
me of all my hang-ups.
Praying is a dangerous thing.
You just might get what you ask
Remember, you called ME -- and here I am.
It's too late to stop now.
praying. ( pause .. . )
Well, go on.
I'm scared to.
Scared? Of what?
what you'll say.
Forgive us our sins,
we forgive those who sin against us.
What about Ann?
I knew it!
I knew you would bring her up!
Why, Lord, she's told lies about me, spread stories.
She never paid
back the money she owes me..
I've sworn to get even with her!
But -- your prayer --
What about your prayer?
I didn't -- mean it..
at least you're honest.
But, it's quite a load carrying around all that
bitterness and resentment isn't it?
Yes, but I'll feel better as soon as I get even with her.
Boy, have I got some plans for
She'll wish she had never been born.
No, you won't feel any better.
Revenge isn't sweet.
You know how unhappy you are --
Well, I can change that.
You can? How?
Then, I'll forgive you;
And the hate
and the sin,
will be Ann's problem -- not yours.
You will have settled the problem
as far as you are concerned.
Oh, you know, you're right.
You always are.
than I want revenge,
I want to be right with You . . (sigh).
All right, all right . .
I forgive her.
How do you feel?
Hmmmm. Well, not
Not bad at all!
In fact, I feel pretty great!
You know, I don't think I'll go to bed uptight tonight.
I haven't been getting much rest, you know.
Yeah, I know.
But, you're not through
with your prayer, are you?
Oh, all right.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Good! Good! I'll do that.
Just don't put yourself in a
where you can be tempted.
What do you mean by that?
know what I mean.
Yeah. I know..
Go ahead. Finish your prayer.
For Thine is the kingdom,
and the power,
and the glory forever.
Do you know what would bring me glory?
really make me happy?
No, but I'd like to know.
to please you now...
I've really made a mess of things.
I want to truly behave like Christ
I can see now how
great that would be.
So, tell me .. . .
How do I make you happy?
YOU just did".
Got this prayer from my friend
Cody in Warrensburg, MO:
Heavenly Father; I come to you as humble as I know how.
I confess my sins,
those known & unknown.
Lord, you know that I am not perfect and I fall short
every day of my life.
I just want to take time out to say Thank You.
Thank You for your Mercy.
I have more bills
money but thank you for my home, car, food,
life and everything I do have.
I realize that life is full of
tribulations but thank you for not putting more
on me than I can bear. Please send This Prayer to everyone
you know and the
next time you get ready to complain tell the
devil that you are a blessed child of God
doing this you will have
more to be thankful for than to worry about.
We must go through the storm to appreciate
This comes from a wonderful
Hi Lord, it's me. We are getting older and things are getting bad here.
Gas prices are too high, no jobs, food and heating costs too high. I know
> some have
taken you out of our schools, government and even Christmas but
> Lord I'm asking you
to come back and re-bless America. We really need you!
> > There are more of us who
want you than those who don't! Thank You Lord,
> > I
Thank you, Linda.
Serving God in his worship fields:
Do you get tired and crabby because you think you're doing more than others in your church?
Fatigue is an interesting
gauge of where your heart is. Oh, for sure, if you worked nonstop for a whole bunch of hours and didn't stop to rest, you'd
be tired. But I can assure you that when your heart is in a generous, ungrumbling place, the Lord will give you energy and
strength for whatever task He has put before you to do.
I share with you one of my favorite passages from Isaiah
40:2931 -- He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and
be weary; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall
run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
I challenge you to keep this smile on the face of your
heart and embrace each task that the Lord puts before you this day.
Above all, be ever mindful of our Lord's greatest
sacrifice of his Son who died for our sins on the cross.
Walk wet in your baptismal faith1 and may it
pour over in floods of new creativity and passion for all that you do.
1Rev. Stephen Gillet launched
a wonderful sermon with this phrase at church last Sunday.
Only hope we find GOD again before it is too late ! !
following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning
I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother
me even a little bit
when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees,
Christmas trees... I don't feel threatened.. I don't feel discriminated
That's what they are, Christmas trees.
It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas'
to me. I don't think
they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of
like it. It
shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time
of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there
is a manger scene on display at a
key intersection near my beach house in Malibu . If people want a crèche, it's
as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.
I don't like getting pushed around for being
a Jew, and I don't think Christians
like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God
are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the
concept came from, that America is an
explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in
the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.
Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should
worship celebrities and we aren't
allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I
guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of
us who are
wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.
In light of
the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little
different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's
not funny, it's intended to get
In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings,
etc.. I think it
started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years
she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone
said you better not read the Bible in school. The
Bible says thou shalt not kill;
thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.
Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave,
because their little personalities would
be warped and we might damage their
self-esteem ( Dr. Spock 's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know
what he's talking about.. And we said okay..
Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience,
why they don't know
right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their
classmates, and themselves.
Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think
it has a great deal to do
with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'
Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going
to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible
says. Funny how you can send 'jokes'
through e-mail and they spread like wildfire,
but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice
sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through
cyberspace, but public discussion
of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.
Are you laughing yet?
Funny how we can be more worried
about what other people think of us than what God
thinks of us.
Pass it on if you think it has merit.
If not, then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this
thought process, don't sit
back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.
My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,
We Thank You For This Food (tune:
Dear Lord we thank you for this food,
Your will to us make known;
Give us the strength to serve
And through the days ahead.
To God Who Gives Us Daily Bread (tune: I Know
That My Redeemer Lives)
To God who gives us daily bread,
A thankful song to Him we'll raise,
And pray that
He who sends our food,
Will fill our hearts with love and praise.
FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY
DAY -- from Nola
In Florida, an atheist created a case against Easter and Passover Holy days.
hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and
Jews and observances of their holy days. The
argument was that it was unfair
that atheists had no such recognized days.
The case was brought before a
judge. After listening to the passionate
presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring,"Case
The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor,
you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas,
Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur
and Hanukkah, yet my
client and all other atheists have no such holidays.."
The judge leaned forward
in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client,
counsel, is woefully ignorant."
The lawyer said,
"Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or
holiday for atheists."
The judge said,
"The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1
states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.'
Thus, it is the
opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is
a fool. Therefore,
April 1st is his day.
Court is adjourned." You gotta love a Judge that knows his scripture!